Thanks to everybody whose a buddy to themselves and others
Thu, 06/13/2013–17:42 — Catherine Paton (not verified)
A Letter to the Editor to www.tricornernews.com (The Lakeville Journal) is one of many I have written since our teen son Kaelan Paton ‘went through the open door’ in the HoUSAtonic River in Falls Village CT, my hometown, a place I thought would be an extra protective way to rear all four children whose many relatives had gone to Housatonic Valley Reginal High School, located about a mile from the Great Falls, which unfortunately factored directly into Kaelan’s demise.
There is a lot on google about Kaelan’s passing and I would hope every school community and set of town leaders and adults could take time to review the notions I share in the most recent (or many prior lettes which eventually I could try to post here with a techies help).
While I had many reservations about using a computer for about ten years, once I learned e-mail I realized it was a major way to stay connected, particularly in a rural area where I had not even had TV for decades.
That’s too isolating. When our son died, not only was his photo being shown on TV as part of a recovery effort, I heard that people were talking about it on Facebook. It took me about a month to find a way to view comments on that link and more recently on Northeast Paddlers and Folk-Legacy Records (and their Mudcat link for folk musicians and singers, a nice underground network that holds festivals and promotes all good things folkie).
Basically, I’ve been learning many Theories about the Afterlife, but also many practical ways we Should be Planning for safety. I’ll share more when I have time. I’d written extensively about some parts of the day Kaelan passed away, and would like to do a book (and am open to help on this as well as input from friends he had from school and various circles).
Thanks again for viewing and sharing this or his memorial on youtube to promote learning and keeping his memory, heroism and spirit alive in meaningful ways.
This is the kind of tonic we all need, for good care for one and US-All as we live fully and gratefully for the gifts of life and the Big Love which undergirds humanity and our universe (from the theories from spiritual science on youtube and info from Birth Angels from www.heavenandearthworks.com .
www.tricornernews.com has 6–13–13 Remembering With Big Love
Tue, 07/16/2013–02:09 — livfully
Hello, I wrote many things about Kaelan’s passing to mark the 4th year since his sudden exit. I go into modes where there seem like endless connections, and I feel that is the case. To catch handfuls and put them into words with a varied audience is challenging yet I’m grateful some will lend me an ear and morevoer their hEart..
Not everything I took time to type out one late night posted..I may find it but if not, at least I had time then to reconsider the lessons and implications of Kaelan’s wondrous life and his difficult exit, which included some challenging times many a youth or young adult may face…the break-up of his biological parents who (lengthy and costly which is NOT necessary..please see the last book I offered to Kaelan as a remedy for his generation, called Divorce Without Court from www.nolo.com. Note as of 2020- more states are considering the dire need to place the safety of children first when there are domestic abuse concerns. A US House Resolution 72 in recent years spells out ways to give victims support early in a separation or custody matter, however every state needs to sort it out. Women need to be particularly ready to plan for their children’s safety before getting pregnant or married, with a support team that would assure her safety that her partner ideally would readily agree to in terms of ‘being held accountable.’ We never get around to dreaming of asking for such a pro-active stance, but all parents and caregivers should be more than ready to take training, be supervised and coached and assured there is back up care and help to manage a household, finances (Yes, finances!) meals, transportation and Much More with teams of friends, family, community supports and gov’t and other help too Before they get serious about dating, living together, having kids and the whole nine yards. That’s in an ideal world but also ‘just a practical one too…’
Regarding the days prior to the final divorce orders on June 15th, 2009,Kaelan’s Mom agreed ‘with grave prejudice’ basically giving into she was not okay with and to a divorce she never wanted at that time and in that manner (and which was a second action along those lines with the first being in 2006 that lasted six months then was dropped.)
With divorce in CT that’s no-fault terms but again no one should have to stay legally married or live with someone even if never married, but there are Big Responsibilities to be Fair and Decent especially when Children are in the mix — we have a broken court system which I cover in other posts so all can be clear about that important Detail!
Even if not the most idyllic ,after a few years of dating, the marital status lasted 20 years (2/13/1988–6/15/09, the day before Kaelan died and marking about 2 years or more of Kaelan’s Momnot being able to see him logistically due to a strange conflict, another Huge Detail more can learn from to Avoid — don’t just allow others to keep one’s kids from a safe parent!).
In general, it’s very important for all people of every age and stage of life (even to currently check your awareness and relationships at home, at work, school, etc) to study forms of control, intimidation, abuse and name it as such rather than pretend otherwise…same with drug and mental health issues.
All family members are impacted by someone’s dysfunction, abuse or trouble..for life, so each deserves education and support to get safe and heal long=term…
We had not only 4 amazing kids come along, but others in spirit via 5 miscarriages and for the record a huge extended family and many caring friends.
These ‘details’ may seem ‘too personal’ but if it’s one thing I’ve felt about our teen son’s passing is ‘to drop the secrets and get real while one’s alive’. I’ve learned a lot about the Possibility of Karma and it’s not an easy nugget to swallow…’what one sows so shall one reap’. That could be from previous lifetimes or even that of one’s relatives or soul group so all the more reason to play fair, forgive, intend well for others and become more accountable for how one is living and relating to others and the laws of the land, hopefully a just reasonable set of guidelines.
I pray for everybuddy (close and in communities and various countries even) to think about being an honest, caring, human team player…and to seek forgiveness and give it as ‘a modus operandi’.
IF someone is mentally unstable, yelling and accusing others of things with no reason for doing so…can’t we have some compassion and seek to HELP Them get help (and not allow them to hurt others verbally or with threats and so on?) Too many feel this is all ‘a private matter.
Well, the TANSH saga (the Tragedy and Transition at Newtown, Sandy Hook as well as Boston or CO) should cure US-All of the ‘It can’t happen to me or US even though we’re part of US-All maybe in more ways than geography-based..maybe our actions do impact others in ways we don’t realize, maybe we are balancing out lifetimes (or even this life’s) negative or specific ‘requests’ which may look like wishes, commands or other ways of naming and claiming something with passion (good, bad or otherwise).
We would all do well to Consider the Possibilities of many new age or spiritual science (on youtube.com, Nassim Haramein for instance) ideas that ‘we are all part of one connected energy field’ and we really need to go easy on each other so we don’t make damaging waves Which Can (and likely Will) Come back to wash over US-All in proportion to what we dished out…
Okay, need to go now, check out The Dome series and think about celebrating the 95th birthday of www.leonardweber.net Check it out and order a print today to celebrate with him!
More ideas on Crafting Clear Safety PLANS post
Tue, 04/01/2014–01:42 — livfully
I’m excited to have written plenty to help people think about little things and agreements to clarify how we live with our Community Thinking KAPP (Kids, Adults, Parents Partnerships) with PLANS (People Living and Learning with Agreements and Networking through Schools and Society). See the more recent post on this site, and chime in with your own tips.
Thanks for helping to spread the words to put down the swords towards ourselves and others. Be a friend to yourself and others, hug a tree, appreciate a bird in flight, a horse standing upright, a person who remembers they can (and should by cool) and walk AWAY from a fight!
